This blog makes no sense

No, I assure you, she does not need another drink. Maybe you should back off a little, don't you think? Relax? I am quite relaxed, sir. No, she most certainly does not need an escort home. I can handle it myself, thank you. No, you are the one who needs to chill out, sir.

Please don't call your friends over to distract me. I am now very much involved.

Hey, wait a second! I did not call you a rapist, why did you tell them that?

No, I did not call him that. No, I do not think he is a bad person. Excuse me? No, I am not crazy. We will be leaving now. No, I did not imply that he is a rapist! I know very little about him! I only asked him to back off. Why, you ask? How did you not notice? She asked three times for him to leave her alone, which he ignored!

Yes, Jennifer, you are coming with me. Can you quit falling over, please? Let's go. I promise we have had enough fun for tonight.

No, I am not a crazy bitch. I am only doing what I have been told over and over. Wouldn't you expect your friends to look out for you when you are incapable, sir? No? I am afraid I do not understand. Haven't you been told repeatedly? Always assume everyone is dangerous. No? Surely, then, you have seen the posters! Only you are responsible for your safety. No? You are not told everyday that you are accountable no matter how much you drink? You are not constantly reminded to respect others?  How absurd! How unfair! How backwards!

No, sir, neither of us would like a drink.

PSA: it's time to log off

Does this look familiar? Does it look fun? Do they look social? Like a community? What would you do in this situation? Wait! Let me guess! You would pull out your phone, wouldn't you? Of course you would! How awkward! The "cell phone effect" is a snowball.

How far will it go? Will it ever stop? According to Gary Shteyngart and the Auschwitz Selfie Girl the answer is no. Her holocaust-selfie offers a brief and terrifying glimpse into Shteyngart's future: social media exposure will dominate all other communication and all judgement will be made in terms of online popularity. What a terrifying prospect.

I know what you are thinking: I would never be so obsessed! Ten-years-ago-teens never would have imagined carrying an encyclopedia of the life of every acquaintance they have ever briefly encountered in their pockets, either... but look at us now! Those same teens are now the very grown-ups manically documenting the lives of their small children and forgetting to enjoy the everyday moments.

Wait! I know what you are thinking! Isn't this a blog? Like a social media blog? Yes, yes it is and it seems to be one of the most ironic places to discount social media. However, where else could I guarantee my message will reach its audience? Alas, here lies the paradox: how can one voice their opposition of social media to the to the intended audience (heavy social media users) without using the only common channel?

The solution is to log off and free yourself from the tethers of connectivity. It's not to say everyone should delete every online trace, but to remember that memories are equally, if not more, valuable if they never get posted online.

Life happens offline.


images: https://douglasgreen.files.wordpress.com/2010/05/friends-laughing.jpg, http://static.parade.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/do-we-text-too-much-ftr.jpg, http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-apps/imrs.php?src=http://img.washingtonpost.com/news/the-intersect/wp-content/uploads/sites/32/2014/07/620-breanna.jpg&w=1484

Nannying is the Best Job in the World

I was a live-in nanny for my last two years of high school. Not everyone is cut out for the random hours, strange tasks, and insane conversations that come along with helping raise a 7-year-old, but the experience is invaluable. Suddenly being responsible for another life taught me so much that would have taken me years otherwise.
I would do it again in a heartbeat, and anyone who runs into the same opportunity should jump at the chance to take a crash course in growing up that is unlike any other.

Here was my schedule, five days a week:

6:00- Wake up. Get ready. Make lunches.

6:45- Wake Z up. Argue about brushing teeth.

6:49- Argue about brushing hair.

7:10-  Triple check Z has her glasses.
7:15- Put Z on the bus if her mom isn't home yet (spoiler: she isn't).

7:30-1:25 School.

2:45-5:00- Work at daycare. 

5:30-8:00- Work at the restaurant/Soccer practice/Have a "day off"
9:00- Be at Z's. Give her a bath. Argue about brushing teeth/hair.
9:30- Put Z in bed.
10:00- Z gets out of bed when she hears my friend/sister/boyfriend come in.
10:10- Put Z back in bed.
10:11- Put Z back in bed.
10:30- Put Z back in bed. Threaten to call mom.
11:30- Go to bed.

The question was always why? Why spend all your time with a 7-year-old? Why don't you get a real job? Why are there crayons all over your car? Why are you wearing a hello kitty headband? And for anyone who has never been in my position, here's why:

1. Organization
I can juggle schedules like it's my job (because it was). We're talking about time management here people and it isn't always pretty. When your days are scheduled down to the minute there is no time to forget the car seat because it will ruin everything. I will admit to this being a partial source of my perfectionism- but hey what's wrong with doing things the right way at the right time?

2. Responsibility
Nothing could have prepared me more for living on my own than living with Z. Nannies aren't only responsible for their own homework/chores/behavior, but also that of a child. There is grocery shopping, homework checking, doctor's appointments and uncontrollable tears. And the nanny takes care of it all.

3. Independence
Perhaps it was being a nanny, or perhaps it is simply a combination of aforementioned organization and responsibility, but the independence was liberating. With three jobs, the hours added up quick. I got paid to sleep. I got paid to watch movies and eat ice cream. I got paid to hang out with my 7-year-old best friend. I didn't have to ask my parents for money anymore and I never looked back.
When I got to college I was used to not seeing my family everyday. Transitioning was so easy because nannying had prepared me for being on my own.

4. Unconditional Love
It wasn't until Z asked me to be her "forever mom" that I realized the impact I was having on her life. Somewhere between eating chicken nuggets and laughing at Spongebob or the crazy new puppy, I formed an incredible bond with a little girl who will surely grow up to be an amazing woman. I may have helped teach her things like grammar and math, but she taught me things like patience and compassion.

I'm not saying it was easy. I'm not saying I never screwed up. I'm not saying I didn't miss out on this big game or that crazy party. What I am saying is that every minute I spent chasing Zoey around was invaluable to my own growth. I am saying I wouldn't be the person I am today if I never stepped outside my comfort zone. I am saying there is nothing more rewarding. I am saying that being a nanny is the best job in the entire world.

Searching for "Allison Blaisdell"

     Is this what celebrities feel like when they see themselves on TV?? Writing this blog is difficult because this experience has made me hyper-aware of my own presence online. My greatest issue with social media is the unconscious tendency to manipulate one's identity to reflect their best characteristics; therefore, however I describe my e-dentity in this post is just another extension of that tendency. I've recently attempted to back away from social media by simply posting less, and in the case of Facebook, not at all. This has resulted in a highly-visible online persona shaped by "tagged" posts from others. I am not a huge fan of the person I see.

     These photos scream "stereotypical college freshman" out partying day in and day out. I can see why all of my relatives are surprised when I tell them about the Honors Program and my straight As. The profile that they see provides little context. They don't see the countless hours I spend in the library every week. They don't see me volunteering. They don't see me washing dishes in the CSL to maintain independence from my parents. Because I don't post about it, they don't know it exists.

     One of the articles I read explained the paradox of excluding oneself from social media, but never being able to shake an online presence. The idea was that if you do not create your own e-dentitiy, everyone else will. I am afraid that's what I have let happen with my dumping-ground-for-tagged-posts Facebook profile.
    Anyway, Google also pulled up links to my Twitter feed, Instagram page, Pinterest account, a list of Illinois State Scholars published by my high school, and my grandma's online obituary from last September. I am more active on these sites, so I think they are more accurate, but I'm still not convinced they do a good job depicting my personality. 

     No matter how involved you are with social media, it simply cannot accurately reflect the complexity of human personality. Adding depth to it is far from the answer according to Super Sad True Love Story. I understand that social media does very little to benefit me, and presents an inaccurate description of me, but for some reason I am not quite ready to go offline.

Some food for thought:   

"You'll Never Be Good Enough!" -Insta

     The massive photo catalog that is Instagram is used by over 300 MILLION photographers and boasts an upload rate of 58 pictures PER SECOND, making it one of the largest social media sites in the world (citation). Young adults make up a majority of Instagram users and are most susceptible to the number of likes = acceptance by others game. Materialism/Love/Parties/Boobs generally receive the most likes, so more and more get posted. An appalling majority of photos posted will fit into one of the following categories:

You don't have enough stuff (includes food pics)

     The presence of material objects increased exponentially just after Christmas. To be fair, I also encountered a handful of family pictures, but they pale in comparison.

You're not "in love" enough

     Occasionally an extension of materialism: "your significant other doesn't buy you enough stuff."

You're not fun enough

     You may or may not have been invited, but not being there was a huge mistake. You will hear about this party until next weekend, and so it goes. 

You're not sexy/attractive enough

      Either I unfollowed the worst offenders, or the #selfie era is on the decline. Yay!

     Each of the above photos were posted within the last day. I believe they represent an average personal Instagram timeline, granted I do not follow any brands like Nike or VS PINK. Regardless, as discussed last term in Self and Other as well as my Advertising Influence class, social media is purely a form of carefully designed self-advertisement. When people go to the trouble to dress up or put on makeup (aka become the "best" version of themselves), they want to document it. People want to be seen at their very best, so they only post pictures that depict an ideal life. This practice is so widely accepted that deviating from the glamorized norm has become an opportunity for comedy such as the "Average Life Goals" account that satirically posts pictures of New Balance sneakers and outdated mini vans.
   
     This practice has no written law, but society has encouraged it to the point that social media has become addictive and detrimental to the young population it attracts. Users see only these idealized lives and quickly develop a sense of inadequacy in their own experiences. In reality, there will always be someone richer, prettier, more talented, and more outgoing... but also in reality, these people are represented incorrectly. Eliminating Instagram is not the solution, the solution is to be conscious of these norms to use social media in a positive way.

     Healthy ways to use Instagram:
          1. Don't always fall for it. Be skeptical of the volunteers wearing expensive
              jewelry, tons of makeup and taking photos instead of volunteering. You
              are the epitome of this post.
          2. Don't "post to please." Post what you like, or what makes you happy.
          3. Put the phone down. Anything is okay in moderation, but never forget that
              you are so much more than that profile and your number of followers.
         
     Suggestions??

Disclaimer: I love Instagram. I actively (although consciously) participate in the very oppression that I am critiquing. Also, none of these photos are my own, but I have excluded their owners to respect privacy